


Unexpected

by Nikotheamazingspoonklepto



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, M/M, Multi, Polyamorous Relationship Forming, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 20:02:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16817482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikotheamazingspoonklepto/pseuds/Nikotheamazingspoonklepto
Summary: Working for Ichirou Moriyama has been an education.  Neil has long realized there is far more beneath the polished surface the Yakuza Lord presents to the world.  It never occurred to him that Ichirou might need reassurance.  More specifically, reassurance from him.  The fact that he wants to provide it is even more...unexpected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a tumblr prompt and then this happened. Oh well, I like Ichi/Neil.
> 
> Thank you Fuzzballsheltiepants for betaing as always! You rock!♡

Neil has a good arrangement with the new Lord Moriyama going, he has for the last few years since he graduated from Palmetto and joined the Barons, the team owned by the Moriyamas. Ichirou put him to work as a translator and additional accountant for him when he’s not busy playing exy and surprisingly, it is… easy. Nice even. Most would be put off, knowing what kind of business the Moriyamas run, but given his lineage it doesn’t even phase him. Ichirou is rather expressionless, a cold wall, but over the years, Neil can see the increased ease in his posture and warmth hidden in his brown eyes. As if he learned to trust Neil, despite how they came together and Neil must say, he likes it, having a working relationship with his… whatever he is.

All that matters to him, is that he doesn’t have to worry for his life or about his friends’ lives. Obviously he always will out of force of habit, but less so knowing Ichirou isn’t going to kill him for the slightest thing.

Neil’s phone buzzes with an incoming text on Ichirou’s desk where he is finishing translations and pauses to check it.

 **Andrew** : Food?

Neil smiles and shoots back a text, telling Andrew he’d let him know when he’s heading out so they could meet up. Andrew sends back a thumbs up emoji and he returns to work, glad that he is almost done. But, he can only leave if Ichirou doesn’t need anything else. 

Speak of the devil, he re-enters his office from behind a door that leads into a private area with a couch, refrigerator and small appliances which Neil has only set foot in a couple of times. Ichirou went in there when he had to take a call, only when he went in, he didn’t look… wrecked. His long black hair looks like he had run his fingers through it despite the ponytail it’s in; he’s loosened his tie and left his suit jacket unbuttoned. 

Neil has never seen him look anything less than pristine and perfect, but he returns to his work, refraining from comment. Ichirou is unusually noisy as he crosses the office floor to his personal stash of liquor in the far corner, pouring out something and setting the bottle down with a heavy clunk. He looks up to see Ichirou sitting himself down with one leg crossed over the other in one of the chairs across from the desk and blinks. Ichirou is pulling his hair out of it’s ponytail and taking a long sip as he does so, sighing heavily after he swallows and running his fingers through his now loose hair.

Neil only realizes he is staring when Ichirou looks up and makes eye contact. God he looks exhausted, just staring back at him. At this point, Neil can’t help but question it.

“Is everything alright, my Lord?”

He is only a little startled by the brief sarcastic smile and huff he is given. At this rate his glass is going to be drained in the next two mouthfuls. Ichirou stays quiet for the moment, staring into his glass, swirling the alcohol inside.

“I don’t deserve to be loved, Nathaniel,” are Ichirou’s first words, drinking half of what is left.

Neil’s eyebrows meet his hairline, feeling confused about where this conversation could possibly be going. “What-”

“Does Minyard love you, Nathaniel?” Ichirou cuts in, looking up at him with cold eyes - no. Defeated eyes. Seeing such a powerful man as Ichirou, looking so pathetic is a big reminder that Ichirou is human.

He gives Ichirou an even smile, knowing his eyes must be soft when thinking of his fiancé. “We’re engaged, and he was the one to propose. I sure hope he loves me,” he can’t help but be a little sassy while answering. It’s who he is.

The man before him is so much different than the person he met during his freshman year at Palmetto; that man was cold. Professional. Not much like the warmer and more relaxed version of the man he greeted upon reporting for work. And now even that is hidden beneath the sadness and exhaustion Ichirou is allowing to show as if he can no longer hold it back. Neil does not know what to do with it. 

“Be thankful you got to choose your spouse, Nathaniel.” Ichirou finishes his drink and sets it on the edge of the desk, staring at it for a moment. 

Neil doesn’t realize he has stayed silent until Ichirou looks up and meets his gaze. Ichirou looks down again, staring intently at his interlocked fingers placed over his knee; a poor attempt to regain his expected Moriyama composure. Something makes Neil stand and grab the rocks glass Ichirou had been drinking from and move to get him a refill. 

He takes the liberty of pouring one out for himself as well and goes to stand next to the chair Ichirou is slouching in. If he looked this pathetic all those years ago, back in his freshman year, Neil would’ve thought this to be a ruse. After being around Ichirou though, he can see parts of himself in him and wonders if in a different universe, if they could have been friends. Are they friends now? No? They aren’t boss and employee, that’s for sure. What...

Ichirou has yet to look up, clearly zoned out in the time it took for him to get them their drinks. Neil could kill him right now, he realizes. He also realizes he doesn’t want to. How much does Ichirou trust him to allow him to see him this vulnerable?

“My Lord?” Neil breaks the silence and watches Ichirou tense very slightly before he lifts his head, looking at the glass Neil is offering and then Neil’s face. 

“Thank you, Nathaniel,” Ichirou’s voice is quiet as he accepts the glass, long fingers brushing his scarred ones. Neil gives him a respectful nod and begins to turn away, to continue work, but his hand is grabbed and he freezes, looking down at Ichirou. Ichirou doesn’t say anything but flicks his eyes to the spot in front of him.

Neil moves and his thighs brush Ichirou’s leg as he leans against the desk, crossing his legs at the ankle, resting his free hand behind him on the desk and raising his glass at Ichirou. Ichirou copies him and they drink at the same time. Neil stares at Ichirou as he practically drains the glass again, leaving maybe a mouthful behind, looking more like a real person than before. He’s reminded of Kevin, who managed to get his shit together and is currently married to Thea, with their beautiful baby girl he sees when the Foxes get together every year. 

“You’re wrong, Ichirou,” the words come out before he can stop them and he expects the anger he gets in return. 

“Excuse y-”

“I don’t think you would be talking about this as Lord Moriyama, Ichirou; this is too personal.” He watches Ichirou’s eyes flash again, first with sheer agony and then that exhaustion again. “That was your wife you were speaking to, right?” A minute nod. “Arguing?” Another nod. “What was it about?”

Ichirou deflates and his leg slides off from where it is crossed over his other leg. When he plants it on the ground, Neil is effectively trapped between his legs. The close proximity is normal for him and Andrew or getting checked playing exy. It is strange here, now. He watches as Ichirou pinches the bridge of his nose, his hand relaxing its hold on his glass and Neil manages to catch it before it can slip from his fingers. Ichirou looks up at him and glides his other hand through his hair, staring at him so intently, Neil feels frozen, bent slightly towards him, clutching the glass that Ichirou’s fingers are still loosely grasping.

“It doesn’t matter what the argument was about,” Ichirou finally speaks, taking the glass back and cradles it close to his chest, eyes never leaving Neil’s. “She wants to fight about everything because our union was arranged by my late grandfather and she hates children, hates that I gave her my heir. I hardly trust her with our son, but…” Ichirou sighs, looking away. Neil can tell he’s regaining some of his composure, as the only tell that he’s more upset is how his fingers clutch the glass, knuckles white from how hard he is squeezing.

“Why don’t you get rid of the problem?” Neil’s stomach clenches, instantly disgusted with himself for allowing that bit of Nathan to resurface. 

Ichirou is slow to respond, turning his head back to look at Neil and stares intently at him again. After swallowing the rest of his drink, Ichirou replies. “I am not the man who killed my mother or my grandmother. I am not the man who killed your mother, Nathaniel.”

“I know.” Neil blinks, finding that he truly believes that. 

Ichirou looks briefly amused before he is overtaken by exhaustion again. 

“What makes you think you don’t deserve to be loved, my Lord?” 

The title takes Ichirou by surprise, eyebrow lifting. “Back to formalities?”

Neil decides to ignore it and just voice what he’d been mulling over. “I don’t know about Lord Moriyama and what he deserves, but…” Neil does not break eye contact as he notes that he has Ichirou waiting with anticipation. “A year ago I wouldn’t have known about Ichirou, either, but the Ichirou I have grown accustomed to has warmth and is capable of compassion. That man is deserving of love.”

Something very _intense_ flashes through Ichirou’s eyes and Neil quickly locks onto the slight tremble in his hand. He’s reminded of Ichirou’s likely upbringing, similar in ways to his own, where he was expected to be something. Being groomed to be a successor and to follow in their father's’ footsteps. Neil managed to escape that fate and Ichirou didn’t force the mantle of ‘The Moriyama’s Butcher’ onto him. Ichirou wasn’t so lucky in avoiding his role as Lord and Neil wonders how the weight of that responsibility feels.

“What do you need from me, Ichirou?” Neil tilts his head, unsure of what he has to offer him further, what he is willing to offer. Ichirou parts his lips to speak and for once he falters, truly falters as if Neil’s words were beyond what he was expecting. Studying Ichirou’s appearance, his long black hair that falls over his shoulders and frames his sculpted face perfectly. Expressive warm brown eyes that remind him of Andrew’s hazel ones. A long, ‘slender’ frame that is misleading as he knows his suits must conceal lean muscles like his own and if he had to guess, tattoos. He is a very attractive man and anyone would be happy to mother his children, be his partner. Love him. He is, as Neil continues to realize, so much more than the cold facade he portrays.

“Show me,” Ichirou finally speaks and Neil notes his words were intentionally vague, to leave Neil to interpret. 

Neil has never been the most ‘brilliant’ of thinkers, as Andrew liked to point out, but he likes to think his heart is in the right place. He sets his half-full glass on the desk, without breaking eye contact and purses his lips, debating his and Andrew’s approach to things. He decides he wants to just act and does so slowly, to give Ichirou time to pull away.

Neil reaches out with his left hand, toward Ichirou’s face and Ichirou does not break eye contact either, nor does he pull away as Neil’s hand cups his right cheek, In fact, he leans into it, so slowly. His skin is smooth and warm. Neil’s chest clenches familiarly, though unfamiliar in this situation. The exhaustion seeps away from Ichirou slowly and Neil can’t help but smile faintly. 

Surprise glimmers in Ichirou’s eyes as it does in Neil’s chest as he leans down toward him, not stopping until he’s softly captured Ichirou’s lips with his own. Ichirou trembles against him and he realizes he closed his eyes, sliding his lips with Ichirou’s. A hand is placed on his shoulder, gliding up tentatively over his neck and then threads into his hair. Neil shivers, getting goosebumps, but he doesn’t complain and he doesn’t stop. His own fingers slide into Ichirou’s hair and it is as silky smooth as it looks, Neil can’t help but stroke his fingers through over and over. Ichirou trembles again, making a soft noise he never would have expected from him and tentatively licks into his mouth, sighing as well when met with a warm tongue that tastes of expensive liquor and Ichirou.

The sound of Ichirou’s glass hitting the carpeted floor doesn’t even register as Ichirou’s other hand grips the back of Neil’s neck, pulling him in for something deeper. Their kiss is slow and growing more and more passionate, Neil knows it’s not the booze making him try and mould himself with Ichirou, but Ichirou himself. He’s learning so much about himself he never expected and it feels _so good_. He doesn’t swing and he only ever did for Andrew, so why is he enjoying this kiss with Ichirou?

When they part, Neil finds himself straddling Ichirou’s lap, his knees digging into the leather of Ichirou’s chair on either side of his hips, both hands in each others hair. Breathing a little harder from excitement and exertion, Neil stares at Ichirou’s slightly swollen, spit-slick lips, reddened from kissing. Habitually, Neil licks his own and notes with interest that Ichirou’s eyes followed, before meeting his again. He’s never seen him like this either and it is preferable to the miserable state he was in before. His phone buzzes on Ichirou’s desk and his engagement ring glints on his finger and he stares at it, shocked as he fully realizes what he just did. Recognition floods Ichirou’s face after a moment and he grips Neil’s chin gently, brown eyes warm, but serious.

“Thank you, Nathaniel,” Ichirou pauses again, clearly holding back. Neil hates it. “Loyal and flexible, caring as always. I will always value those traits in you.”

“Ichirou,” Neil swallows when given a hard look, feeling lost.

“I’m sure Minyard is waiting for you. You may finish up here and leave, Nathaniel.” Ichirou releases him, leaning back so he is not touching him, only Neil touching him from where he straddled him, hands in his hair.

Neil sees a mask similar to Andrew’s slide into place, accepting he’s not going to get what he wants and pushing away. It hurts him to see it happen and he swallows again. This is so similar to his situation with Andrew, it is terrifying.

“Glad to be of service, I- my Lord.” They both fight a flinch at the title and it amazes him how just a handful of minutes can change things so completely. They aren’t the same two people they were before that kiss, not before Ichirou opened his mouth and Neil did in return. Managing to gather himself, Neil carefully climbs off of Ichirou and picks up the glasses, setting them aside as he walks back to sit behind the desk. When he’s seated, Ichirou is disappearing into the same room he did before and Neil hates this hollow feeling in his chest. He needs to talk to Andrew.

Forcing himself to finish the last page of translation, before gathering his things and heading out. He glances at the door Ichirou disappeared through and sighs inaudibly. He nods to the bodyguards and staff employed by the Moriyamas, his mind buzzing as his feet carry him to the sidewalk outside of the building.

Neil is dialing Andrew before he registers it and is connected after the second ring, hearing Russian as a greeting.

“ _Took you long enough_.”

“ _I kissed him_.”

A pause, Neil hears Sir or King mewling in the background and rustling, then a door opening— their balcony. Andrew’s lighter clicks in his ear and after a moment, Andrew releases a slow breath, he can imagine him staring out into the city with his phone in one hand, cigarette in the other, looking _so_ sexy as he exhales smoke. For a moment he worries he won’t get to see that again.

“ _Was it consensual_?”

“ _He… was kind of sulking and tried to engage me and said he didn’t deserve to be loved and somehow we ended up kissing_.” Well, he started it by making eye contact, but details… “ _I enjoyed it, it felt good._ ”

Andrew hums as he takes another drag. “ _Still sure you don’t swing? Going after dangerous men seems to be a habit of yours_.”

Neil can hear the teasing, not sure why Andrew does not seem to care but is glad for it. It makes him smile to himself and sag his shoulders in relief. 

“ _Well, I am marrying you, ‘Monster’_ ,” Neil teases right back. Andrew huffs out a laugh and he knows they are okay.

“ _Do you want more?_ ”

“ _From him? I— yes. I don’t know if he does, but yes._ ”

“ _Hmm… bring home dinner, we’ll discuss this properly, Junkie_ ,” Andrew hangs up without saying anything further and Neil sighs. 

Neil thinks of Ichirou and Andrew, their similarities and differences. Ichirou’s mouth was gentler; he tasted. Andrew devours. But they both are hungry, and Neil loves how it feels, being the meal they sought. He glances back at the tall office building he had just left and looks to the top floor, he can’t see it even with craning his neck. He wonders if Ichirou is watching and if he wants more. 

He hopes so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, please let me know what you think! 
> 
> I plan to write this in 2-3 parts. :]
> 
> (EDIT: I lied, we all know I did, this will be longer than 3 chapters)
> 
> Thank you Nekojita for the use of the exy team "the Barons".
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> HMU on tumblr, I'm Nikothespoonklepto!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation in three parts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What in gods name am I doing?

Neil explains to his fiancé about everything that had happened with Ichirou over take-out in their living room with two cats begging for them to share. He arrived home with all of their favorites from three different places _and_ a half gallon of forbidden chocolate ice cream for good measure. At the door, he was greeted with a scoff directed at his sheepish expression and a firm, forgiving kiss. It is all Neil needed to know he was forgiven.

He is beyond grateful for that and is able to relax into his corner of the couch opposite Andrew, their feet touching in the middle as they chow down, cats lurking on the back of the couch. It takes him until he’s polished off his Lo Mein and Andrew’s focused expression does not change the entire time he explains his ‘encounter’ with Ichirou, down to his actions, thoughts and feelings during it. When he’s finished explaining, Andrew sets aside his sweet and sour chicken to grab the chocolate and strawberry ganache cake he bought at the pastry shop near their apartment complex and digs in. Neil frowns, nervous; Andrew doesn’t do that unless he’s worried, as he always forces himself to finish his ‘proper meal’ first.

“Andrew?”

“Don’t make that face,” Andrew locks eyes with him before looking back to his cake, shoving a huge bite with a ton of frosting on it in his mouth and it makes Neil smile at the smudges it makes around his mouth. “You are a disaster, Josten,” he mumbles, making Neil grin.

“I thought you were the ‘disaster gay’, or whatever Nicky said,” Neil grins innocently as Andrew gives him a sharp look, the intensity of it dulled by his messy face.

“Nicky is the disaster gay, I’m the functional gay,” he shoves another bite in his mouth, pointing at Neil with his fork. “You’re the disaster demi who wants to fuck broken people for whatever fucking reason that is,” he continues with his cake cheeked on one side.

Neil actually has to throw back his head and laugh, lightly kicking Andrew’s legs with his foot. “I— we share a lot in common with our backgrounds, and since we transferred to the Barons and I started working with him, he’s really warmed up to me. He’s _human_ and I’ve been seeing more and more of that, I told you.”

Andrew rolls his eyes. “You are an athletic twink with a pretty face and a smart mouth, you might be an idiot but you are halfways decent at some things other than exy.”

“Aw babe, you say such sweet things.” Neil’s smile widens when Andrew kicks him this time.

“Pain in my ass,” Andrew grumbles and stops talking long enough to finish his cake. Neil leans into the couch, setting aside his mostly empty carton and parts his legs slightly. Pressing the side of his face into the leather of the couch, he watches Andrew with a teasing smile, one eye showing with his curls spilled messily over his forehead, his hand on his stomach pushing up his shirt to show some skin.

Andrew freezes when he looks up from cleaning his mess, hazel eyes darkening with desire at the state Neil is in. “You come home from kissing another man and you think I’m going to fuck you, junkie?” Andrew lifts an eyebrow. Neil shrugs, trying to be coy, his grin widening still.

“I dunno, we’re all disasters here and we disasters take care of each other, that’s part of why I kissed Ichirou, I think.”

Andrew sets aside his container and napkins, jaw tensing, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. “He’s the disaster bisexual then, or what the fuck ever.” Andrew drags his heavy gaze over Neil’s body and shifts onto his knees, his hands running over Neil’s calves, knees and then thighs.

“‘Disaster bisexual’?” Neil snorts, only to yelp softly when Andrew yanks him by his hips, landing him on his back with Andrew fit comfortably between his legs. He’s already trembling from Andrew’s hands sliding under his shirt, back arching as his mouth attaches itself to his stomach, kissing and biting his hip. “ _Drew_.”

“I’m assuming he likes women, and he likes you - maybe he isn’t bi, you look like you could be a woman,” Andrew teases his nipples, twisting and tugging, making Neil whimper. “So pretty.” Neil shivers at the praise and feels Andrew smirk against his skin.

“T-That’s fair.” Neil reaches down to thread his fingers into Andrew’s hair, but his fiancé isn’t having it. Quickly shifting to grab his wrists and pin them on either side of his head, Andrew leans over him Neil with intense hazel eyes, pressing his hips into his. Neil feels his half-hard bulge through both of their sweatpants and grins up at him.

“What do you want Neil?”

“I want you to do-”

“No,” Andrew stops rolling his hips, releasing his wrists and sits back on his haunches as if he realized what he was doing in the middle of a serious conversation. Honestly, Neil thought it was over too, but who knows. “ _You_ willingly kissed him, Neil, is it because you swing for him? Do you find him attractive?”

Neil flushes at Andrew’s question, looking away to think because looking at Andrew makes it hard— _impossible_ to do so. Does he want Ichirou? Does he ‘swing’ for him? He knows that Ichirou is attractive, but is he _attracted_ to him? Compassionate, warm brown eyes enters his memory. A soothing, soft-spoken voice. Long, silky black hair that he could run his fingers through endlessly. Easy conversations, a relatively calm work environment. Someone who knows exactly who Neil is, knows his past, doesn’t bat an eye and _understands_. He looks at Andrew, knowing he has that with him to an extent, maybe not to a ‘T’, but he is there for him and Neil loves him for it.

But Ichirou and Neil grew up with near identical backgrounds. One was bloodier, the other far more strict, but otherwise....

Swallowing, Neil reminds himself that Ichirou had been the one to tell him to go, both of them accepting that they would never share more beyond that moment. So used to being disappointed and moving forward because that is what’s expected of him. It makes Neil’s stomach hurt.

“I’m marrying _you_ , Andrew,” Neil finally answers, looking up at him with sincere eyes.

“And for some reason, I’m marrying you, too,” Andrew deadpans, gripping Neil’s hips and strokes circles into his skin with his thumbs. “But I am asking what you want from Moriyama?”

Neil flushes again. “I-I don’t know, not exactly?” Neil rubs his face with his hands. “I haven’t… wanted to do anything with someone, other than _you_ , Drew.”

“Then explore this with him,” Andrew tilts his head. “You said it yourself, kissing him relaxed him and you enjoyed it.”

Neil’s brow pinches and he sits up, looking at Andrew curiously. “You’re concerned for his well being? _A Moriyama’s_ well being?” Neil huffs when Andrew pushes him back down with two fingers against his forehead, expression blank. “Not to mention suggesting I experiment with him, doing the things I do with you.”

Andrew snorts this time, eyebrow raised again. “One, I’m pretty sure if he’s happy, it will only serve to benefit us and secure our safety further. Two, anything you ever do with him will never be the same as it is with me, Abram.” Andrew reaches up to grab Neil’s throat in a loose hold. “Or did you forget you were mine? Not even _Lord Moriyama_ can take you from me. The only way you are getting out of this insanity is by death or you walking out, nothing else, no one else. So go play with the other kids and be nice.” He smirks. “Or not, if he’s a kinky fuck like you.”

Neil’s eyes sting with unshed tears, thinking about how far Andrew has come. It’s been nearly ten years since they’ve been together, three since they got engaged, they’ll get married when they are good and ready, but this is one of the few times Andrew has managed to really say how he feels about him. ‘I love you’ wasn’t even as meaningful as that.

“You’ll have to kill me to make me leave you, Andrew.”

Andrew rolls his eyes. “Drama queen,” he still leans down to kiss him though.

“Yours,” Neil wraps his arms around Andrew’s neck, smiling until their kiss becomes heated.

\---

  
Andrew runs his thumb over his lower lip, staring at his reflection in the cool metal elevator doors he is standing in. He’s thinking of the kiss he shared with Neil before he left for an interview with some nonsense magazine— or was it a photoshoot? Maybe a photoshoot _and_ an interview. He can never keep track because he doesn’t _care_. Neil doesn’t want to be doing them anymore than Andrew wants to hear about it, so he won’t exhaust his memory space with it.

The elevator chimes when he reaches the forty-first floor and sighs, remembering Neil telling him he would have to go through a second round of security before being allowed to go to the forty-second floor where ‘Lord Moriyama’s’ office is. His arms are for once not weighed down with his knives in the sheaths of his armbands, having left them at home. He kept a few knives on him that were a bit more visible, even though he trusted Neil when he told him Ichirou does not keep weapons in his office as to avoid his son from finding them when he is there. There was a lot of that he would like to question, but he already has enough to concern himself with.

It has been three days since Neil called him after leaving this office to tell him that he kissed Ichirou fucking Moriyama in a spur of the moment driven by compassion. Fucking martyr. His fiancé is going to be the death of him because not only did he kiss Moriyama, he enjoyed it. Which is fine, not Neil’s definition of fine, but actually fine because Neil is his own person. If he still wants to be with Andrew and kiss the one other person he swings for, then fine. His dumbass fiancé should be allowed to explore his desires, his wants and his newly sparked curiosity and he doesn’t need Andrew’s permission to do so.

Andrew pushes those thoughts aside, wanting to be clear-headed when he confronts Ichirou and just in time to go through the second level of security. Narrowing his eyes at the Japanese man doing a weapon search on his person, he manages to get through the process without killing him or puking, his hands remaining steady. He still craves a cigarette after it though. The man, whose name is Taki, gives him a cool once over before leading him to the forty-second floor and raps on the door to Ichirou’s office, opening it after being buzzed in.

“I have Andrew Minyard here to see you, my Lord,” Taki bows as he announces Andrew’s arrival. Andrew stares at the immaculate man sitting at his desk and does not even consider bowing. If Taki scoffs at him, he doesn’t give him a response, genuinely uncaring. Ichirou isn’t _his_ ‘Lord’ and he doesn’t care.

“Thank you, Taki-san, you may go,” Ichirou has yet to look away from his computer, long fingers clicking meticulously on his keyboard.

Andrew takes a moment to observe him as he steps further into the room, noting Taki’s brief hesitation before exiting, taking care in closing the door behind him. Ichirou is a very attractive man; also a very dangerous man. Neil is interested in him and even though Andrew has had essentially zero interaction with the man, he can almost see how Neil would be drawn to him.

Ichirou holds himself in a manner that indicates he is prepared for anything, but unless you know what you are looking for, you wouldn’t see that he is feigning weakness. Andrew knows better, as does Neil. He is someone Andrew would keep at a distance, but Neil is interested in him and even if he is able to make his own decisions and live his own life, he has a tendency to get himself into trouble. Especially with people in dangerous positions of power. Someone needs to look out for his idiot junkie.

Ichirou stops typing, clicks away with his computer mouse and finally turns his cold, calculating gaze on Andrew. Interesting.

“Andrew Minyard,” Ichirou drags his eyes over Andrew carefully, looking for hostility. There isn’t any yet, but the conversation has yet to begin. ‘Conversation’. “What occasion brings you here?” Feigning ignorance that Ichirou obviously knows Andrew can see through.

Andrew doesn’t feel like playing with him, not when it comes to Neil. “You kissed my fiancé, so I am told.” Andrew resists his fingers twitching for a cigarette, especially when Ichirou flicks his eyes to Andrew’s hands, steepling his own fingers, elbows on the desk. Posturing. For Andrew. _Why?_

Andrew stares at Ichirou as he stares back. Surprisingly Ichirou is the one who caves first, a single eyebrow cocked, the rest of his position remaining unmoved.

“If you came here for anything in particular, other than to state facts, I would like for you to not waste my valuable time, Minyard.”

“Amazing that a Moriyama would admit to infidelity so easily,” Andrew drawals in his usual bored tone, challenging Ichirou. He’s not about to let just _anyone_ to be with Neil, even if he is his own person, he did choose Andrew of all people and Neil is notoriously… _impulsive_. “Given your position though, I suppose you believe you can just take what you want, from whoever you want.”

Ichirou’s cold eyes waver and Andrew watches him hold impossibly still, as if he stopped breathing. Struck a nerve, did we?

“Given you are Nathaniel’s partner, I will let your behaviour slide this once, Minyard— ”

“ _Neil_ is a compassionate martyr that I have no doubt you used to gain his sympathy for whatever familial issues you are suffering through,” Andrew keeps his eyes locked with Ichirou’s brown ones, watching the cold mask crack and wonders if that is what Neil saw. With Andrew too, all those years ago.

“What happened with Nathaniel and myself was purely consensual and an isolated incident, not that it is any of your business, Minyard. Remove yourself from my property before my generosity to allow you to do so expires.” Ichirou exhibits impressive grace as he turns away from Andrew, returning his attention to his computer. His previously graceful typing shifts into a forcibly restrained attack on the keys. Andrew smiled inwardly at the sound of Ichirou's facade cracking.

How much more would Andrew have to poke to break it?

“That is where you are wrong, Moriyama, Neil is my business as he is _mine_.” Andrew feels grounded and stronger with this truth being displayed for anyone to see. His words make Ichirou’s fingers hesitate as he turns his cold gaze on him once more, eyes gleaming with promise to make good on his earlier threat. “However, Neil is his own person and can make his own choices, including whoever he wants to suck face with.”

Ichirou is slow to hide the confusion that seeps into his eyes, the struggle plain across his face. It makes Andrew think, that just maybe he actually is as human as Neil claims him to be. Hmmm…

“For some reason he likes broken people. _Dangerous_ people. So of course he’d extend his fucking martyr complex to _you_.” Andrew shrugs as Ichirou stares at him. This is going better than he expected, even if his fingers hurt from resisting the twitch for a cigarette yet again.

“The idiot wants to explore that spark or whatever he felt with you and I’m not going to stop him because I don’t have to worry about him not taking ‘no’ for an answer.” Andrew doesn’t resist the twitch in his jaw this time, eyes hardening. “However, if you make him uncomfortable or try to force him to do anything you don’t get his explicit permission for _first_ , the name Moriyama will do nothing to protect you from what I will do to you.”

Ichirou’s eyes darken with rage until they are almost black. Andrew tenses as Ichirou stands from his chair, squaring his shoulders and drawing himself to his full height that only gives him six inches on Andrew. He swears that he can see him shaking with anger.

“I am not the man you think I am, Minyard. It is in your best interest to erase the delusions you have constructed in your head about the man I am, based on the actions of my family. I have exhausted my patience for your appalling behaviour, now _leave_.”

Andrew actually has to exhale a nearly inaudible laugh when he realizes. “You actually like that idiot.” He lifts an eyebrow at Ichirou.

He wonders if this is how Ichirou looked when Neil stunned the Lord into silence. Before he fucking kissed him, that is. Maybe he can see why Neil has become comfortable with him over the last few years, formed a working relationship of sorts.

“Don’t fuck it up, Moriyama, Neil won’t come to you because you made it evidently clear that it was a ‘no’. If you want to help him explore whatever this is, you have to make the first move.” With that, Andrew begins to turn, unable to take the silence, needing a cigarette more than he had the last few times the craving stabbed at him. He suspects Ichirou may actually make good on his promise if he pushes further.

Unsurprisingly, Ichirou speaks up, but the words that come out of his mouth have Andrew pausing as he turns to the door.

“Why would you allow the man you love to stray into the arms of another?”

“I already told you, Neil is his own person, but at the end of the day,” Andrew’s lips twitch with a slight smirk, ring finger feeling heavy with the matte black engagement band Neil had bought in response to his own proposal. “At the end of the day, he’s still mine.” Andrew gives Ichirou a two finger salute and finally walks out of the door. He does not make eye contact as he breezes through, collecting his knives from security, fingers twitching less with them on his person.

His mind blanks out during the elevator ride and he focuses on the breathing exercises Bee had taught him over the years. When his boots hit pavement outside of the building, Andrew lights up a much needed cigarette and exhales his first drag slowly.

He’s done his part, passed along a very strong message and didn’t get his head blown off.

“Hm…” Andrew takes another drag before moving forward. Now he has to wait for one of these idiots to do something and hope Neil doesn’t suffer in the end.

\---

Ichirou can’t believe he’s _stalling_ , he can’t believe he’s _nervous_. All because he knows when he enters his office, Nathaniel will be there, working on his monthly finances. It's ridiculous, he hasn't seen Nathaniel in a week since their ‘encounter’ and four days since Andrew Minyard gave him a verbal slap across the face. A wakeup call, if you will.

Finally, he catches the side eye his bodyguard, Taki, is giving him. He dismisses the man in front of him with, “I will have my assistant get in touch,” and walks away after giving a curt nod in response to their bow. He isn’t even sure what they were updating him on anyway. Taki knows something is going on; of course he does. The man has been with him for more than twenty years, a welcome constant in his life.

As the elevator approached the forty-first floor, Ichirou found himself thinking about auburn hair that was soft to the touch, sun-kissed, scarred skin that did nothing to detract from his beauty and piercing blue eyes that easily read and searched Ichirou’s soul. Closing his eyes firmly for a moment as the elevator opens, Ichirou takes a breath before stepping through the doors.

What the hell is Ichirou even thinking? _Considering?_ ...wanting...

Ichirou checks his glock and butterfly knife with Haru and barely watches the safe door lock them away, before heading to the stairs to the forty-second floor. His mask is firmly in place while waiting for Taki to open the door to his office before him, giving a quick glance inside, despite no one being able to get up here without coming the way they did, or scaling a forty-two story building. As he anticipated, the redhead plaguing his thoughts (alongside _every other_ stressor in his life) is sitting in front of Ichirou’s computer, typing and referring to the paperwork spread on the desk surface.

He is beyond thankful for his years of practice in maintaining his cool demeanor because when Nathaniel looks up, the wind is knocked out of him the second he meets his gaze. Nathaniel offers a warm smile as he always does and Ichirou can’t help be grateful for that, as he would have been disappointed if their ‘encounter’ had ruined their comfortable working relationship. It was already difficult to find trustworthy people in this line of work, not to mention people who understand his business. Nathaniel being a combination of the three and attractive, as well as _sassy_ , it would be short of impossible to find someone else.

“Good evening my Lord,” Nathaniel bows his head slightly, returning to his work when Ichirou nods as well.

“Nathaniel,” Ichirou nods to Taki before he exits the office, closing the door and leaving Ichirou alone with Nathaniel. Stepping up to the desk as he would per usual, he picks up the stack from Nathaniel’s completed work, leafing through.

“Is everything checking out?” Ichirou doesn’t dare to look at him, licking his thumb to separate two pages, reading over Nathaniel’s notes, his initials next to solved errors. His handwriting has improved since he started working with Ichirou in the past two years.

“I found a bookkeeping error for one-hundred-kay, just _lost_ , turns out some idiot didn’t carry over from last month,” Nathaniel scoffs, shaking his head. Ichirou finally looks up, finding the redhead running a hand through his own hair, tugging on a single curl behind his ear while skimming the information on the paper in front of him.

“It appears I need to have my staff re-evaluated.”

“What would you need me for then?” Nathaniel flashes him a mischievous grin.

Ichirou wonders briefly if his expression gives anything away, even if Nathaniel does not respond outwardly, swallowing when he looks away again. _This is ridiculous._

“Fair enough,” he decides, returning the completed paperwork to the desktop and walks away before he does something out of character. He ignores the tickle in his subconscious telling him he already is doing just that.

As he disappears into his lounge area, he berates himself for this behaviour; only a normal _teenager_ would be… _longing_ for someone like this. Ichirou has never been a normal anything, only a Moriyama, groomed to be ‘the Lord’, the head of the family. Important and in charge, to be feared.

Ichirou unbuttons his jacket and paces the room, one hand in his pocket as he navigates his encrypted smartphone with the other, mindlessly reading emails and sending some of his own. His and Nathaniel’s… kiss, he might as well call it what it was, keeps intruding on his concentration, Minyard’s verbal thrashing alongside it. After locking his phone, he taps the corner to his chin and looks to the door, locked out of habit. Nathaniel is on the other side. He looks edible in his lightweight, long-sleeved navy blue top and those skinny jeans he wears to the office, hugging his toned, athletic body splendidly. Minimalistic, bringing all the focus to his natural beauty. Warmth floods Ichirou’s chest, butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

Even though he always noticed Nathaniel’s beauty, he never thought past that, appreciating having someone to look at while in the office. As they worked together, they grew used to each other, then at ease and then eventually, comfortable. Things were easy until his wife finally got to him at the wrong time and he sought comfort and reassurance from the only other person who could possibly relate.

Which is still strange, as he holds his, Day’s and Moreau’s lives in his hand. Nathaniel has already paid off a good chunk of the debt with his his six-figure salary over the last six years and would most likely be bumped up to a seven-figure salary if he continues playing the way he has. Not once has he been late on a payment or even mentioned it. It has never been brought up.

Ichirou shakes his head, not understanding it. Why would Nathaniel want to… _experiment,_ with _him_ of all people, or was Minyard fucking with his head? But that kiss… he feels his neck heat up and feels ashamed of such a childish reaction to a _kiss_. But… he actually wants something and was given permission to pursue that desire. Not that he needs permission to do anything as the Lord…

He has Taki’s message box open on his phone before he can talk himself out of it and he taps out a text, telling him to make a reservation, to clear the remainder of his evening. When he receives an affirmative, he stares at himself in the mirror on the wall. Wondering…

“What are you doing, Ichirou…”

~

Half an hour later, he is still in his lounge, having straightened and smoothed his pristine suit numerous times and thought of how to approach Nathaniel. Minyard had said he would have to make the first move, since he already told him no and clearly that is a big deal between the couple. _Consent_. Taking on lovers is not an uncommon practice in his line of work, but that is just what they were, lovers. Escorts to be exact, the ones he invited into his bed were always discreet and never the same partner twice. This is posing the idea of something more. Ichirou isn’t even certain of what exactly he wants, other than to see what there is to be had and where this could go.

At least it’s a start, if he even agrees.

Noting that Nathaniel should be finished with his work by now and judging by the camera feed linked to his phone, is cleaning up and waiting for Ichirou to dismiss him, he realizes it is now or never. Otherwise, he will more than likely put it off indefinitely, as he is most used to denying himself anything and everything that is not necessary. However, he still does not feel _right_ , approaching Nathaniel as he is, feeling like he would be offering an outing for gratitude for his hard work as his employee and not a… a date.

Another look in the mirror shows Ichirou the picture-perfect image of a Moriyama Lord, a businessman, which is what he is _supposed_ to look like. Feeling frustrated he pushes a hand through his hair, messing up his neat ponytail and freezes. Nathaniel had quite obsessively threaded his fingers through his hair when they kissed and it felt amazing. Pulling the band free so that his long hair cascades down his back and spills over his shoulders, he actually cracks a slight smile. He always loved his hair, a piece of his mother that he kept close to him and it made him feel good about himself. It was the one thing his father never fought with him about. After smoothing down any strands out of place, he feels a bit more confident and makes himself leave the room he was admittedly hiding in.

Upon opening the door, as expected, he finds Nathaniel standing over Ichirou’s desk, sorting and organizing his finished paperwork. When Nathaniel looks up, he has a slight smile on his face, pausing when he looks at Ichirou. As his piercing blue eyes drag over him, lingering over his freshly freed hair, Ichirou feels his neck flush again and swallows but clears his throat gently, drawing Nathaniel’s attention to his face once more.

“Finished, Nathaniel?” With Nathaniel’s positive response, instead of attempting to ask him to join him for dinner he- “Have dinner with me, Nathaniel. I have some matters I would like to discuss with you.”

That is definitely not what he wanted to say and it even seems to take Nathaniel off guard, making him pause in the middle of filing his paperwork.

“Uh… yeah? Sure. Where are we going?” Nathaniel tilts his head at Ichirou, studying Ichirou curiously as if trying to figure him out. Always so curious.

“Brushstroke, in Lower Manhattan.” Ichirou chose his favorite place, wanting to impress Nathaniel for reasons unknown to him. “I made us a reservation.”

He doesn’t anticipate the pinching of Nathaniel’s brow or the way he looks down at his highly flattering outfit and nearly changes their destination before Nathaniel speaks up.

“I think I’m a little underdressed for such a high-class place,” Nathaniel tugs awkwardly at the hem of his top.

Oh.

“You have nothing to worry about, I own the restaurant.”

He doesn’t expect Nathaniel’s snort in response either, relaxing at his grin and eye roll combined. “Of course you do.”

Ichirou likes how relaxed he is, speaking a bit more freely than usual, it is preferable to people being stiff and highly cautious around him. It can be exhausting, people walking on eggshells around him constantly. Then there was Kumiko...

“Of course,” Ichirou nods. Nathaniel tilts his head a fraction, a smile on his lips. “Shall we?”

Nathaniel looks away and files the last stack of papers and closes the drawer. “Yeah, I’ll let Andrew know I’ll be working late.”

Ichirou hums, to hide his disappointment and walks to the door, checking his phone to find that Taki is waiting for them. He can feel his confusion and curiosity through the text message. By the time he has opened the door, Nathaniel’s phone chimes with a text and walks up behind him. Not for the first time, Ichirou appreciates the fact he hasn’t felt unsafe with Nathaniel at his back in over a year. Nathaniel has proven himself trustworthy time and time again, by not once taking advantage of Ichirou when catching him off guard.

They are quiet as they leave, thanking Haru for their weapons. Nathaniel is texting— Ichirou would guess it is his fiancé— Ichirou can feel Taki side-eyeing him again.

This is going to be awkward, he can already tell.

~

The journey is slow, Ichirou leaning back in his seat with a half glass of whiskey in hand to calm his nerves, observing the city traffic through tinted windows. Nathaniel is across from him, sipping from his own glass. Ichirou can feel his eyes wandering to him every few minutes, but Nathaniel never speaks up. It has him wondering if Nathaniel has realized his intentions.

Eventually the quiet becomes too much even for Ichirou and he turns his gaze onto Nathaniel. “How is training going?” Watching how his eyes light up at the question makes Ichirou relax and he gives Nathaniel his undivided attention, chiming in occasionally when necessary.

The comfortable atmosphere returns and before he knows it, they’ve arrived at the restaurant and Taki is opening the door to let them out. It takes Ichirou a moment to remind himself of Minyard’s insistence on consent when he finds himself reaching out to place a guiding hand on Neil’s lower back. Instead, he curls his hand into a loose fist and returns it carefully to his side, briefly narrowing his eyes at Taki when he catches his bodyguard staring. _Damn his intuition_.

“I haven’t been here since Andrew and I moved into the city,” Nathaniel announces as they make their way inside, his eyes taking in every detail of the establishment. Not in awe, but looking for the exits and taking in his surroundings. Ichirou can appreciate that; habits like that are next to impossible to break.

“I come quite often, you are always welcome to accompany me,” Ichirou attempts to sound casual. Taki turns ever so slightly at that comment, but Nathaniel doesn’t do more than hum and nod while he looks around on their way to their table.

It is slightly frustrating, trying to feel this out, watching Nathaniel slide into their secluded, private booth across from him, facing the door even though Taki is standing guard just outside. Ichirou stares at him as Nathaniel settles into the leather seats, taking inventory of the table setting and the restaurant staff. Seju Yang, his usual server, pours the water while welcoming them.

“Welcome back my Lord, good evening, I am Seju,” Seju smiles mischievously, switching over to Japanese. If Ichirou didn’t find him entertaining, he’d kill him. “ _Nice to see you bring along such attractive company, my Lord, his eyes are to die for_. _Tell me where you found him, I want one._ ”

Ichirou settles for humming, picking up his water for a sip and a reason not to respond, while Nathaniel stares up at Seju It had taken Nathaniel six months to learn Japanese and Ichirou was beyond impressed. They almost never speak Japanese together at the office, but his translation work is flawless and able to mimic speech patterns without fail. Ichirou can’t decide if it is a blessing or a curse when Nathaniel easily replies in kind to Seju. Personally, he chooses to go with the former.

“ _One of a kind, I’m afraid,_ ” Nathaniel’s lips twitch with his father’s smile. It makes Seju freeze as he turns to him, but is able to quickly regain his composure, used to dealing with Ichirou’s people.

“ _All the more reason to try and snatch you up, -_ ” Seju tilts his head in question.

Ichirou is curious as to why Nathaniel glances at him before responding, clearly hesitating. Why? “ _Neil. I am happily taken though,_ ” he flashes his ring, “ _so don’t bother wasting your time on me_.”

Seju clutches his chest and appears genuinely hurt, that is until he slid a sly smile over to Ichirou, he stares at Seju blankly. “ _Well, I suppose I’ll just have to admire from afar._ ” He winks at Ichirou. “ _What can I get for you and Neil, my Lord_?”

Ichirou looks at the single sheet of parchment paper in front of him, nestled into a nice leather menu board with golden tabs holding it in place. The menu is written in elegant calligraphy, appealing to the aesthetic of _Brushstroke_ , a very modern, Japanese-New York City fusion. The menu changes from season to season, but Ichirou appreciates that the food matches the effort they’ve put into it. It better be good, he owns it and his company ensures they can provide the highest quality ingredients. Father would have thought it to be a waste of money, but he’s not around to complain about it, is he?

“ _Are you hungry this evening, Nathaniel?_ ” Ichirou ignores Seju’s confused noise and meets Nathaniel’s gaze, watching him lift an eyebrow but ultimately nod. “ _We’ll start with the scallop and lobster dumpling, cherrystone-scented soup. The oysters after and then… the grilled black cod with sea urchin for myself and the Chilean Sea Bass for my guest. Surprise us with whichever small plates that accompany our entrees. Are you avoiding carbs because of training?_ ” He asks once it occurs to him.

Nathaniel laughs at his question and Ichirou enjoys how it makes his own lips twitch. He likes his laugh. “ _I might be in the offseason, but I’ll be fine, just have to run a couple extra miles in the morning_.”

“ _Oh, cute and athletic_ ,” Seju cuts in before Ichirou can reply. Ichirou gives him a side eye of his own. “ _We have our signature steamed rice with lobster and salmon roe for our rice plate, you’ll love it!_ ”

“ _Thank you, Seju-san,_ ” Ichirou stops him before he can grow more flirtatious, he’s beginning to feel strangely possessive. “ _Please bring sake that will compliment each course_.” With that, he holds out his menu with one hand, looking up at the server, expression blank. Eyes hard.

“O-Of course, my Lord,” Seju smiles at him and takes the menu from him with both hands, then Nathaniel’s and bows before leaving. He scurries away so quickly, Ichirou knows that Seju is very aware that he was losing his patience with him.

“That was… interesting,” Nathaniel stares at the door Seju exited through. Ichirou blinks. “He obviously knows you, I’m surprised you’d keep someone so informal around.”

“I keep you around, don’t?” Ichirou fires back before he can stop himself, making Nathaniel stare at him, tension in his posture, a sharp look in his eyes. He rushes to fix it, feeling flustered. “I find it endearing and prefer to have company who feel they can be lax around me— but not disrespectful.” Ichirou holds Nathaniel’s gaze and watches his tension relax slightly. Only slightly.

Nathaniel doesn’t speak for a long time, even though his adam’s apple bobs with an audible swallow, lips parting in attempt to retort. He’s managed to steal Nathaniel’s witty retorts, surprised to discover how much it disappoints him.

“Okay,” Nathaniel breaks their eye contact and grips his glass tighter than usual while sipping his water. Ichirou misses the calm atmosphere they held in the car.

Ichirou wonders if Taki can feel the tension from the other side of the door and does not dare turn to check, in case Nathaniel catch onto his uncertainty. They sit in the most awkward silence the two of them have ever shared and Ichirou has literally cornered him to interrogate him. Nathaniel is as rigid as a statue, staring intently at anything but Ichirou, sipping his water while Ichirou watches him at a loss for words.

Seju’s reappearance is welcomed, serving their soup, describing it as “an intense flavor haiku” and Ichirou stops listening when he starts on the sake. Nathaniel is focused on Seju while he speaks, Ichirou on Nathaniel, even when Seju bows out to leave them to their first starter. Nathaniel is blatantly uncomfortable even though he is trying his best to hide it and Ichirou is annoyed with himself. He is supposed to be… to be… what the hell is he supposed to do?

Maybe he should have researched how to flirt or dating or _something_ , because he is absolutely blindsided. He married Kumiko right after he graduated with his degree and even though Ichirou tries to make everything work, they are in constant disagreement. Nathaniel is someone he is intentionally and actively seeking because he has become increasingly fascinated with him over the years he’s come to know him.

“Sorry, bad manners,” Nathaniel startles Ichirou out of his head by picking up the sake bottle and pouring out some into his cup. Again, he is amazed by his attention to detail, especially in cultural things _Ichirou_ hardly bothers with at times and must have thought that is what Ichirou was waiting for. So he, in turn, takes the bottle from Nathaniel to pour him his serving.

“Thank you, Nathaniel,” Ichirou bows his head slightly and raises his glass, the two of them murmuring ‘kampai’. Far more formal than…

“You’re welcome, my Lord,” Nathaniel ducks his head and sips his sake as does Ichirou, before tucking into his first course. While Ichirou does the same, Nathaniel continues. “Ah… what business did you have to discuss, my Lord?” His anxiety is palpable.

He thinks Ichirou is upset with him. _Damn it_.

“To be honest,” Ichirou swallows, feeling himself tremble with nerves. “I invited you to discuss something a bit more… personal.” This makes Nathaniel grow rigid and Ichirou busies himself with his soup. It's delicious, he's sure, but he can hardly taste ‘the flavor haiku’.

Nathaniel doesn't respond, Ichirou _can_ taste his nerves.

 _Stop being a coward_.

“I wanted to discuss our encounter last week.” Nathaniel is pale when he looks up, glancing at the exit. Why does he automatically assume he's angry? “Minyard came to my office a few days ago.” Nathaniel looks startled before he looks down, letting out an inaudible sigh.

“I am sorry, but I can't control his actions, my Lord, he is his own person. I did have a feeling he would do this though, after our own conversation...”

So they did talk about it. Minyard wasn’t lying.

Ichirou watches him set down his spoon, hands curled in his lap, looking forlornly at the bowl for a moment, as if expecting to and disappointed to leave it. This is a mess.

“Your fiancé said the same about you.” Surprise, followed by an eye roll. He's heard this before. Confusion seeps into blue eyes again. “I was… _firmly_ informed that consent is absolutely required in the future.”

Nathaniel provides him with an owlish stare.

Is he _really_ not catching on? Does he actually have to spell it out?

Setting down his own spoon, Ichirou smooths his hair down before placing his hands in his lap, interlocked over his knee. “I was also informed that you are interested in further exploring our encounter.” Nathaniel is absolutely still. Ichirou feels his neck and ears burn. “I asked you here, to tell you that I feel the same…” he swallows again and clears his throat when he is only stared at, hand in his hair again. It soothes his anxiety.

“I would like to explore this with you, as I felt a _spark_ , if you will. If that is something you would be interested in.”

More staring. _God_ , now his cheeks are burning too.

Nathaniel sits back against the booth, spoon in hand again as he stirs his soup for a bit before taking a bite. His brow is pinched, his icy blue eyes darkened, staring into his bowl. Ichirou watches him for a moment as he slowly eats, evidently as conflicted as he is, deep in thought.

Letting out a soft sigh, Ichirou picks up his sake and takes a long sip. It was worth a try.

“My apologies, Nathaniel, it was not my intention to make you uncomfortable.”

“No,” Nathaniel does not look up, even though Ichirou does, surprised. “I… it’s not that, I just… need to think.”

Ichirou feels his chest clench, gripping his spoon tight. “By all means.” That… sounded too much like he was giving him permission. “I do not wish to pressure you.”

Nathaniel’s small smile and smoothed brow ensures he accomplished reassuring him of his intentions. Ichirou is not used to feeling so anxious, not used to trying to _win someone over_. It is interesting to him to want someone in his life.

He has waited thirty-three years to seek something for himself, some _one_ for himself in his life. He can wait for that someone to make a decision. So Ichirou forces himself to relax and returns to his meal, emptying his bowl by the time Seju arrives with the next course and new sake that Nathaniel pours out for him first once more, Ichirou doing the same for him. They are sitting in relative silence, save for the sound of their chopsticks sifting through their food and tapping against the plates. He has no idea if he should be worried, as their entrees arrive and Nathaniel has yet to speak again. So when he does, he’s startled.

“I am interested in seeing if there is something more here, but,” oh god, _but_? But what? “I am not sure if you respect me the way you expect to be respected or if you see me as an employee or whatever.”

Ichirou feels like he was sucker punched, the wind knocked out of him for the second time this evening. This time it makes him nauseous. He can’t find it in himself to respond, not even sure of what he’d say. Nathaniel may not even believe him. So he waits, setting his chopsticks down with a soft click.

Nathaniel stares back, eyes searching for something in Ichirou’s face, biting his lip after a moment. “First of all, if we’re going to do this, you need to respect that my name is _legally_ Neil Josten and that it will one day be Neil _Minyard-Josten_. _Not_ Nathaniel.” Ichirou stares at the intense look in Nat— _Neil’s_ eyes and swallows. Instead of feeling disrespected or attacked he is slightly… aroused.

Ichirou manages a slow nod, licking his lips nervously. “I will honor your wishes, Neil,” he offers a light smile when Neil relaxes quite visibly and offers his own smile.

Neil then exhales sharply and laughs, running his hand through his hair, looking away. He’s beautiful, so light and now far more at ease. Yes, he prefers this over the uncomfortable atmosphere they had just eased out of. They return to their meals at the same time, sneaking glances at each other and Ichirou wonders if Neil— it feels odd, how easy it is to shift to his preferred name— if he wonders where to go from here. Might as well take advantage of this opening.

“How would you suggest we approach this, Neil?”

He did not anticipate the snorting laugh as a response but does love how Neil’s eyes glitter.

“I’ve only ever been with Drew, Ichirou,” Neil grins, a blush on his scarred cheeks. “Me being…” he gestures between them, shrugging awkwardly. “Attracted to you is completely new for me. My… I did not have a ‘normal’ teenager’s experience, if it wasn’t obvious.”

Ichirou frowns slightly at that while Neil gets this faraway look in his eyes for a moment. He squeezes his chopsticks tightly and waves Seju away when he sees him peering inside, probably to check on them. Neil is silently shoving his meal into his mouth and Ichirou feels for him.

“I have very little experience in this area as well,” Ichirou tries, making Neil lookup with wide, curious eyes. Ichirou has to look away, feeling his neck heat up again and sips his sake until it is empty. After he sets his cup down he finally looks back to Neil. “I was not allowed to date as I was to marry right after university. Not that it mattered, I had very little free time, being groomed for my future role as Lord Moriyama.”

Neil purses his lips and empties his own cup. Ichirou refills it for him, Neil copying him. Ichirou likes this, it is worlds better than his entire marriage to Kumiko has been.

“I always knew we had kind of similar upbringings, while still being different, but I didn’t realize _that_ would be something we would have in common. I… I don’t know.”

“What?” Ichirou presses gently when he realizes Neil is holding back.

Neil flushes beautifully, smiling. “I guess we can figure it out together?”

Ichirou flushes as well, catching himself toying with his loose hair. He almost stops that ‘unsightly fidgeting’, but Neil is watching his hand in his hair very closely and he likes that.

“I think that would be acceptable.” He lifts his cup again and nods at Neil, who is now laughing under his breath, but does the same and they drink in another silent toast. “Now what?” He manages a near teasing tone.

“You are way too professional with flirting, Ichirou, it’s actually funny.” Neil grins, eyes glittering again but this time with mischief.

“I am, _Lord Moriyama_ , after all, Neil.”

“Not with me you’re not, _Ichirou_.”

Ichirou has nothing to say to that, so he smiles instead, shaking his head at Neil’s sassy manners. It is another quality of Neil’s he thinks he will always appreciate.

~

They manage to finish dinner and then dessert while exchanging increasingly bold conversation with each other. At one point they try to discuss ‘ground rules’ for this… whatever this was going to be. Is it a relationship? Ichirou can’t help but wonder how to label it. Neil had no answers either, shrugging when he asked how they should treat this. He supposes they are testing the waters for now, like a couple of flirtatious teenagers.

Strange, but welcomed. It is as if Ichirou is finally experiencing things an average adult would have in their early teens, nearly twenty years too late, but he doesn’t mind. It’s a fantastic change of pace.

They did agree, at the very least, to keep this, _whatever it is_ , separate from their working relationship. Neil found it acceptable if Ichirou continued to call him _Nathaniel_ at work and agreed to continue using formal titles with him, especially around ‘professional’ company.

Ichirou has yet to decide if Taki is considered professional company or not. Judging by the way his bodyguard’s eyes gleamed with a too pleased expression and his lips fighting a smile, he is not.

They’ve already stood, waiting for Taki to announce he has fetched the car and Ichirou is nervous as hell.

“Am I dropping you back at your apartment, Neil?” Ichirou wants to invite him back to his penthouse, continue this discussion there, but he would settle for bringing him home. He fights a frown when Neil hesitates.

“I…” Neil runs a hand through his curls and chews his lip. “I would rather walk, I need to — process this.” Ichirou relaxes at the reassuring smile he is given. “I’m… glad we got this out in the open though. I’m nervous and kind of excited, but it’s still new and— yeah.”

Ichirou nods in acceptance. “Understandable,” he hesitates, becoming highly aware of their close proximity. His mind brings up fragments of the several romance movies he has willingly watched with his wife in fruitless attempts to bond with her… “May I kiss you good night then?” Ichirou is certain he is as flushed as Neil is now, judging by how hot his face is.

Neil takes a half step closer and Ichirou can tell he appreciates him complying with him asking for consent. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Ichirou has never asked before; he had always just assumed. But there is something different with this, with Neil. No niggling question about whether he’s just trying to appease his Lord. No; Neil wants this, and Ichirou is startled to find that knowledge just makes his own want stronger.

Unfamiliar butterflies are fluttering in Ichirou's stomach, and he wonders what had been in that sake. Ichirou copies Neil’s move from before and cups his cheek, leaning down for a soft kiss that already has his lips tingling. It’s so much better and feels just perfect, his lips sliding with Neil’s. Neil’s hands quickly finding their way into his hair has him threading his own fingers into Neil’s curls, opening his mouth to him. Neil’s tongue tentatively meets his and he sighs at how sweet it is, now holding his head in both of his hands.

Neil’s hands in his hair, stroking his fingers through as obsessively as before has Ichirou floating on cloud nine as their kisses grow bolder. Noses gently bumping when they move to feel out new ways to kiss, to taste each other. He can’t get enough, soft sounds being shared between them, but it has to stop at some point, so he slows them down but has to smile when Neil’s lips follow his own when he tries to pull away.

Neil’s eyes have darkened as he looks up at him in a daze, hands holding onto his shoulders while Ichirou slides his own down to hold his lithe yet muscular waist. This is too perfect. It takes Ichirou a moment to find words, but the silence between them far from uncomfortable. He knows there is a smile on his face that he can’t fight and he squeezes his waist gently.

“Allow me to walk you out?”

Neil laughs, a light exhale and nods, surprising Ichirou with a chaste kiss pressed to his lips.

“Okay,” Neil steps back, but not before threading his fingers through Ichirou’s hair again, as if carefully neatening it. Ichirou’s scalp tingles from the gentle touch. “You shouldn’t wear your hair down around me if we want to remain _professional_ , _my Lord_.”

Ichirou flushes again and clears his throat while putting a little more space between them, correcting his posture. “Duly noted, _Nathaniel_.” Neil grins at him and Ichirou pulls out his smartphone, finding a text from Taki informing him that he is waiting outside the door. From five minutes ago. How long had they been…

Dismissing his sudden anxiety at the idea of being caught by his perceptive bodyguard, he motions to the door. “Shall we?” Neil grins again and heads to the door, Ichirou allowing his hand to gently rest at the small of his back and swallows when given a sly smile in return, but no argument.

They make it outside, escorted by Taki, and his hand still firmly in place as he guides Neil at his side. It feels right, having him there, but wonders if that is due to the exciting newness of it all. Either way, Ichirou’s anxious mind is quieted significantly for once.

“ _I’ll see you at the office, my Lord_ ,” Nathaniel bows his head politely when they reach Ichirou’s car.

“ _Only then?_ ” Ichirou can’t help but ask, feeling hopeful. He wants to explore this as soon and as often as possible.

Neil smiles. “ _I’ll text you, Ichirou_.”

Ichirou smiles faintly, because it isn’t a ‘no’ or ‘never’. He can wait, he reminds himself again. “ _Goodnight, Neil_.”

“ _Goodnight_.”

Ichirou watches him turn down the sidewalk, heading out until a few people obscure his view and sighs inaudibly, turning to step into the car where Taki is waiting. Taki’s expression is schooled, but his eyes give away everything.

“ _Ready to return home, my Lord_?”

Ichirou glances at him and nods, sliding inside the car and once the door shuts he practically collapses against the seat, in awe of the evening he just had. The ride is quiet, except for the sounds of the city and Ichirou’s busy mind, thinking about his evening with Neil and realizes this is why Neil needed time to process. A _lot_ happened tonight. Everything had been pleasantly overwhelming, a rollercoaster of emotions… and he finds himself looking forward to more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you fuzzballsheltiepants for betaing!!!
> 
> Can you tell who wrote a couple paragraphs that the Niko fucked up with their psychology degree?
> 
> Also! Thank you foxsoulcourt for the menu and aesthetic for Brushstroke! You should go read their fic, Turnabout is fair play!
> 
> Happy new year!
> 
> Please leave a comment and kudos to let me know what you think!


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